the art of relationship

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The art, the structure, the mathematics and beauty of life, of me and you, of two people relating in ways we should. Reasons and rules life exists by.

There is a formula. There are ingredients. There is a mix, of colors and spirits, that makes something beautiful, something beyond.
I dare to share. Will you dare to hear?

What are little girls made of? Cinnamon and spice, and all things nice. That’s what little girls are made of.

What are little boys made of? Snails, puppy dogs tails and all things gross. That’s what little boys are made of.

What is a relationship?

Mix these together and you get a soup too foul to even smell! Let alone devour.

There are two main ingredients for a relationship, yet we are mistaken. Listen again. There is more to this than listed, more to it than meets the eye and mind.

There are 3.

What is the third? What makes this mix of mess and foul good? What gives it flavor? What gives it health? What gives it taste and hope and loveliness? What, what?

Well what makes ‘lovely’ lovely? Love.

But don’t stop at the supermarket and buy the love people dish out. This love must be of quality. This love must be pristine, of grade and mark; this love can’t be just of anyone!

Before you mix the ingredients, make sure your love contains the following:

Patience
“I can’t wait for you. I can’t wait till you change, till you grow. I can’t wait till you stop, till you start. I can’t wait. I can’t wait till you do something right. I can’t wait; I’m impatient! If you don’t do what I’m waiting for, this will stop, now!” Ick, and so the gross fight goes on. If we do not wait, if we do not have patience for each other, patience for each others’ errors, if we do not suffer a little longer—

the ingredients will not fuse, will not mix.

Kindness
“You hit me, you beat me, you never buy presents and gifts, you never thought of me! You never even cooked me a meal, never cleaned my clothes, never cleaned the house or did anything at all! You lazy bastard, you don’t think of me at all! You don’t think of me or care!” Ick, and so the gross accusations that ring true share. If we are not kind, if we don’t lift our fingers and work and be nice, if we don’t humble ourselves and think of the someone else, if we don’t give the little things of life around us with what little we will—

the ingredients will not fuse, will not mix.

Void of jealousy and envy
“You slept with him, you looked at him, you looked at her, you slept with her. You talked to them, you interacted with them, you saw them inside your head and heart. You related with someone else other than me! You can’t! I can’t trust you! You are always somewhere else! Where are you! Do you care about me at all? You loose-eyed! Why is she better than me; am I of worth to you?” Ick, and so the foul play and emotional games fray. If we do not humble ourselves, and let go of our control and greed, if we do not trust, if we do not let go of our strangling grip-hold, if we do not allow freedom to grow, if we do not cease to compare ourselves, and have what we have—

the ingredients will not fuse, will not mix.

Humbleness
“All you talk about is yourself, your deeds and great ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’! You never let me speak; you only seem to see who you are to be! You think you are great, you think you are a hero, you think you will save the world, but you can’t think of even me, the person right beside you! Why are you on a pedestal and me below? Why are you better than me, you prick? Step down!” Ick, and so goes the cries and pleas, slapping us around. If we don’t step down and humble ourselves, how can we allow those around us to rise, how can we let truth and collective grow strong? If we keep chopping the world down by bloating ourselves, boasting, flouting us out, then—

the ingredients will not fuse, will not mix.

Void of Self-centeredness
“You think the world revolves around you! You think the world should come to your beck and call! You think the winds and waters obey you! You think you are the top of the world, the king of this castle, the ruler of even me, your equal! What is wrong with you? How could you lie to yourself! And why do you forget about the world?” Ick, so goes the truth of this realm, a kingdom of self destruction; no room for anyone else. Alone. If we don’t remember the planets and the sky, remember the sun, greater than us, that which we revolve around; if we don’t remember our place in the world, and the peers around us today, at our level; if we don’t cease to try to orchestrate the universe in its glory and frame, and don’t learn to leave it to all else and don’t learn to accept our position and place within—

the ingredients will not fuse, will not mix.

Void of Greed
“You are never satisfied, always crying for more! You won’t stop consuming; you are too much to bear! You don’t like the heat, nor the cold; you don’t like anything at all! You require too much from me, you want more than I can give! You hungry leech of a worm-hole! Your mouth will never be closed; I can’t give you more.” Ick, and so the story continues, nearly slowing to a halt. If we stop lusting and crying for more, like a fat chick bird with its mouth open wide; if we learn to leave our greed and learn to be thankful, to the point that we HAVE something to give out instead of requiring the thing to vacuum in, to gain instead—

the ingredients will not fuse, will not mix.

Self control
“You’re emotions are out of whack; you are off the rails; you get angry and lose control; you cry and can’t hold yourself; you can’t compose yourself, not even before me or on your own! You invest your emotions in people, things, and lose them when they go! You can’t even make a clear-headed thought; your emotions cloud your vision!” Ick, I know! My emotions tell me so! And now I want to cry; I’m angry; I’m in a rage; I can’t live around you! Stop, get a grip of yourself. Don’t let it get to you. Let the emotions move on away. Let it slide and wane. Cool down, calm down, and hold the reigns. Woah! Stop and breathe, catch your breath and breathe. It’s not the end of the world, because if you think it is—

the ingredients will not fuse, will not mix.

Lack of memory
“You did this, and you did that; you never did, nor ever have! You did that a year ago and I will never forget! You mustn’t forget the things you did to me! I will never forget, neither will I forgive! You did that, and it’s written in stone, parchment, in my head! How could you; you did it; it’s done, so this is it; this is that!” Ick, now the battering rams come out, with no mercy but crass. If we do not learn to forgive, or even learn to forget; if we do not hold strong and cease to succumb to the subconscious; if we don’t learn to wipe our self-programmed defenses; if we don’t learn to let the memory slide and corrupt—

the ingredients will not fuse, will not mix.

Enjoyment of truth
“You never cared to know about me; you don’t even know what my favorite color is! You don’t talk about life with me, or what your soul desires! You don’t know my family, my friends, my world or even my heart. You don’t know me! I don’t know you. I don’t know what is growing, decaying, what is going and recreating; I don’t know your mind; I don’t know you, and I don’t know ‘we’.” Ick, so sad it is to come to this, to not know what is more. Please help me to yearn to know more, to want to get to the bottom of the hole. Help me identify, categorize, organize and gather; help me to relish and enjoy the words and things to know; help me mine; help me to dig; help me to want to know the truth; help me learn to enjoy it like the diamonds of deep, dark, hard stone; if we don’t have the pickaxe and the lust for the precious stones of truth buried in plain sight—

the ingredients will not fuse, will not mix.

Void of evil desire
“You only revel in seeing someone else fall; you laugh when they suffer! You like it when I am in pain; you glee in seeing me bleed. You love the world of darkness and hate; you make friends with those who live to abuse. You like the way one can use the other; you like the way one takes advantage. You steal, you cheat, you hate and you glee in it. You enjoy the evils of those who hurt others.” Ick, how could you? How can you even contradict yourself? You are in this with and for someone else, yet you destroy anyone who gets near you! How can you; why? If you don’t steer away, and push these evil things aloft to nothingness; if you don’t use your established passion to fight these very things that take away from others, instead of joining them and dulling yourself—

the ingredients will not fuse, will not mix.

Protection and support
“You never were there for me! You left me on my own when the world caved under; you left me in the cold! You never provided help; I had to lug your arse while I fainted from the load! I couldn’t move on; I was chained down. You walked ahead and left me alone in the dark, devoured by the creatures out and about. Where were you? I thought we were in this together! You left me alone.” Ick…. The very argument that defeats the very motive to even be together, the very thought to even try. If we don’t support each other how can we both be strong? How can we lean on each other; how could we fight and survive? How can we fall onto each other when the worlds start to get dark? If we don’t provide the shelter and help we can; if we don’t fight back to back to our buddy; if we don’t—

the ingredients will not fuse, will not mix.

Faith
“You don’t see a future; you don’t see where we are going; you don’t have ambition; you don’t believe what we are doing; you don’t understand why we are here; you don’t know or see the world care; you are a low-life that doesn’t look past today; you don’t see us in the future, and you aren’t willing to work for and to it! You are lost in time, you don’t know where you’re going; you are blind! How can we go on? You don’t know where you’ll go or where to go.” Ick, directionless, driven-less, motionless, action-less. Nowhere is one going, nowhere one will go. How can you be so slow to move? Don’t you know life is like a hill; if you stop moving you will go down! You need to look and see the things not yet seen, look into the future and imagine a world to be, ‘cause if you don’t—

the ingredients will not fuse, will not mix.

Perseverance
“Now, not only do you not know where to go, but you won’t care to stick around and give it a try! You are spineless; you don’t want to lift a hand to work! You are quick to change your mind and you easily give up! You aren’t willing to throw your back in, and you don’t give it your best shot! When we fail once, you won’t get back up! You feel sorry for yourself and cry instead of trying again! You lousy, lazy peace of funk!” Ick. Go on, try again, don’t give up. There is always a solution to any problem; there is always a way; there is always path. If you give in, if you dismay, if you lose hope and throw a little less effort in—

the ingredients will not fuse, will not mix.

Hope
“Depressed, down and lost you are! The world is dark, and painful, and never going to heal for you! You just let the things fester inside you! You are infected with a plague; apparently you cry! You don’t see the colors of the beauty of the world! You don’t see that I’m with you, and by your side! You think it’s impossible! You can’t see past your nose! You can’t expect anything but the worst. How could we go on like this?” Ick, quite right; how can you always view the ground, the dirt and the crap, the soil between your toes, the thorns in your feet? Can’t you look around and see the trees, the sky and the people around you? If you don’t realize there is more than the pain and the cold, the hopelessness around you—

the ingredients will not fuse, will not mix.

Trust
“You… always are trying to do this on your own. You don’t trust me, or want to listen to my words. You are trying to out-think the world, and control life around you. You won’t lean on me, trust me or turn to me! I am here for you! How can you be so on your own! Trust me for once, and let go of it all; I am here for you. I’m all ears. Don’t ignore me; please turn to me. I’m here for you, I’m here for you….” Ick, you’ve done it again; you’ve locked yourself away. Take a risk and open up to someone else for once; open up and let your inside flow out! Let go and be aware of the other person. If you stay closed, and always on your own—

the ingredients will not fuse, will not mix.

These ingredients never fail. Trust them; mix them in; use them and believe in them.

You can try your hardest to mix the ingredients without love, but like oil and water they will never fully mix. Shake harder, mix with a fork, do what you can; but the molecules will not bind; there will be no fusion, no chemical reaction, or anything at all.

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the art of relationship

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