If I ever win the lottery

A beautiful view in Italy
If I ever win the lottery, the very first thing I’m doing is buying an international iPhone and then calling my wife’s job from it. I will ask her to nicely pack her things and tell the powers that be how she will not be returning tomorrow or the next day or the next day or ever. I would then rent 6 limos and pay 6 friends to ride in them to the lottery office. This will deter news cameras while I roll in the back lot with my Toyota Echo. I will then collect my winnings, buy 3 first-class, one-way tickets to Naples, Italy and call my dad. My dad is very understanding and would ask the minimal amount of questions.

On the way to the airport, I will call a little bed ‘n breakfast in Conca De Marini named Amalfi Residence and book their ‘sunflower suite’ for 1 month. I will tell the owner, Luigi, to secure us a limousine ride from Naples.

Of course my in-laws and immediate family will be a little worried and I will tell them to not worry because when I return I will pay off all their mortgages. And I will explain it all to them later.

When my wife and son and I get to Italy we will do no work. No work at all. We will dream up fantastic day trips and taste all the different meats from local shops. We will only buy what we need for the day and we will only buy from the people in our neighborhood. We will take time to savor. We will take time to drink and time to laugh. We will look at our son and each other as rare gifts. Gifts not everyone can enjoy. We will go home at 1 for siesta and take a nap after a meal. We will get a tan and lose the bags under our eyes. We will learn the language and the culture and we will appreciate it with infinite respect. We will make friends with our neighbors and respect their property as ours. We will never litter or lose regard for even the sidewalks as they are a part of our lives and our lives are to be lived with robust adventure and desire for flavorful fellowship. We will never get take-out or use a drive thru. We will never use a microwave. We will sit. We will enjoy. We won’t be hell-bent on safety. We will watch others smoke next to us in a restaurant. We will not complain or tell them to stop because we would not want them to tell us to stop doing something we enjoyed.

We will do that for a month. Then we’ll return home and hook up all the details of our new-found fortune. We will pay off our parents’ debts and our siblings’ debts. We will teach ways to properly handle money. We will put enough away so we never have to worry again and put the rest toward giving.

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